‘Bade Miyan Chote Miyan’ (2024) Movie Review - When the Filmmakers Leave their Brains at Home

The makers of Bade Miyan Chote Miyan decided not to reveal the villain's face in the teasers and trailers of the film. They probably wanted to keep us guessing. They might have thought that both Mission Raniganj and Ganapath turned out to be big duds, so the audience might not come to the theaters for just Akshay Kumar and Tiger Shroff. "What about having a masked villain? That could pull a curious crowd towards the big screen!" someone might have exclaimed in the team. Unfortunately for them, BookMyShow spoiled their secret, either knowingly or unknowingly. When the advanced bookings opened for this film, I scrolled down on the page that had the "Book Tickets" button and found the name of the actor playing the villain.

Did this knowledge dampen my experience of watching this film? For that to happen, the movie should be entertaining, right? If the story already resembles a kindergartener's concoction that got him a consolation prize, no amount of spoilers will be able to ruin your movie-watching experience. Anyway, masked villains are Bade Miyan Chote Miyan's cheap tricks. They stop covering their faces (or hide them partially) after the interval. Given this is a mumbo jumbo science fiction movie, couldn't the writers have come up with a reason for giving masks to the bad guys? Bade Miyan Chote Miyan could have told us that the masks unlock all the corners of the brain or keep the skin fresh or something instead of using them so lamely for such a superficial mystery.

Then again, how can you expect imagination or intelligence from a film that once again threatens India with unidimensional Pakistanis? Even India must have gotten bored with all these empty, intimidating remarks Bollywood villains throw at it. If India were a woman (she is Bharat Mata, after all) at the screening of these films, she would be calmly munching popcorn before the interval and sleep through the climax when the good guys would be busy fighting the terrorists. Because even she knows how predictable these stories tend to be. The only thing Bade Miyan Chote Miyan does differently from other similar snoozefests like Fighter is that it also inserts China in the villain list.

Bade Miyan Chote Miyan could have been a "so bad it's good" movie, but Zafar's slipshod filmmaking is numbing. The scenes move so swiftly that you get a small window to absorb any action or expression. The editing is solely motivated by its aim to keep your eyes from moving away from the screen. The scenes scream, "Hey, look at me!" All this screaming gives you a brain freeze. The terrorists in Afghanistan watch David Dhawan's Bade Miyan Chote Miyan on TV. In that 1998 comedy, two police officers are blamed for the crimes committed by their look-alikes. This Zafar film also deals with look-alikes, but in the form of clones, as the story is set within the sci-fi territory. I wish I could tell you to watch Dhawan's film instead of this movie, but both are equally unbearable for me. But the desert-y landscape combined with Rakesh's (Shroff) outfit reminded me of Assassin's Creed Origins. Play the game and leave this film because Bayek of Siwa won't bore you with juvenile quips.

We are initially told that Rakesh and Firoz are court-martialed soldiers. During the family rescue operation in Afghanistan, you think the duo's ego (their decision to go after a most wanted terrorist despite being told not to do so) would end up costing a family member's life, leading to their court-martial scene. But Rakesh and Firoz are punished for killing a miscreant (they were ordered to bring the person alive). Bade Miyan Chote Miyan paints these two characters with such heavy virtuous shades that they become poster boys for the army recruitment camp. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan is not a film; it's an advertisement that says, "Indian soldiers are clever, strong, innocent."

Filmmakers often tell the audience to leave their brains at home to enjoy such nonsense masquerading as entertainment. But what happens when the filmmakers leave their brains at home? You get an expensive balderdash like Bade Miyan Chote Miyan.

Final Score- [2/10]
Reviewed by - Vikas Yadav
Follow @vikasonorous on Twitter
Publisher at Midgard Times